LADIES ONLY
Being a 'western' girl (this 'western' sounds very strange) or better said being a latin girl in India has been so far an interesting experience. Even if Mumbai is known to be the most western city of India, this is is still very different from the female perspective that I am used to. So this posting is about some major personal perspectives about being a LADY, indian or nor indian, in Mumbai.
Exclusive ladies seat in the Mumbai buses
1. Clothing
From wearing strapless shirts, skirts and very tight pants I slowly had to move into the more lose, broad clothing. Why? Simple reasons - 90 % of the girls wear like this (with kurtas, pijamas, sarees) which means that if I wear my 'old normal western clothes' I will have lots of guys just looking at me not in the nicest way. I thought people were exagerating about the guys looking at you thingy, but they really do, and after a guy grabbed my ass on the street the first week of being here (sorry for telling it so often, but this is really traumatic!), deep inside myself I know is better to keep the 'low profile'. I say deep inside, because honestly many times I hate dressing with so conservative clothes and I sort of try to come back to my old style, but luckily I have someone that audits my clothes every morning :-) Now, dressing conservative does not mean I wear indian clothes every day, but even if I do wear western style it is very few what is to be shown. ALso it depends of what zone of the city you are. In Bandra West, that is kind of the 'party/clubbing/restaurants' part of the city you tend to see more less conservative style, similar when you go to parties and stuff, but still when you go to work every day by train and do not live in Bandra West :-) you have no option than adapting to the culture! Indian women clothes actually are very nice if you rather start adminiring the musters, textures and colors ... in Latin America beauty of clothes is rated by the shape of your body (how good it fits or suits) than for the qualities of the pieces themselves.
2. Ladies Transportation
A benefit for ladies here is that in trains and buses there are special spaces reserved for us. In the trains there are special wagons or compartments JUST FOR LADIES. As said this is cool cause as full as the train becomes, you do not need to worry for being squeezed between tons of guys, you feel in a way safer, more comfortable ... but at the same time when you think about it, it is like accepting that guys just can't share in a friendly and respectfull way the place with women ... and in a way I think that brings them more apart, or at least that makes guys crazier about women! jejejej it's just a thought ... for sure much more reflection needs to be put around this from my side. In the bus there are special seats JUST FOR WOMEN as well, not many, but it's cool to know that there are these special spots to look for where nobody can bother you!
Sign that indicates where to board the ladies wagon
3. Ladies second?
Now, this whole 'ladies seats or compartments' are also a very tricky thing, then from believing that India is the most polite country in the world towards women, sometimes I do believe men respect these 'ladies spaces' more as an obligation or as a RULE, than because they naturally are polite towards women. The -LADIES FIRST- saying that you have in many western countries, here does not happen sometimes. Let me give you some examples: the other day I sat on a "non lady" seat, but since I do not speak-read hindi, I thought it was a women seat. I guy came to me and said: "Move, bla, bla, something in hindi, no ladies seat". The first thing that came to my mind, was that I was probably sitting in the handicapped seat, which if it was like this, the guy had all the right to ask me to stand up from, ONLY if HE WOULD BE HANDICAPPED, but he was NOT AT ALL and instead was happiliy seating there with another friend. Of course I travelled without a set all the way (not a big deal anyways, happens every time), but in general nobody here gives a seat to a woman, nobody waits for women to go down of the bust first, or go up first, nobody helpswomen to carry anything. Cool women and men, we are the same, do not get me wrong, I am not expecting we to be que 'queens' of the story, but still it is a very marked difference.
Andheri Station in Mumbai, women boarding the (full) ladies compartment
4. Where are the ladies? where are the pregnant ones?
In a 1 billion country (India) and a 20 million city (Mumbai) the % of women you see on the street is SO SMALL, sometimes it is scary to see how men are the majority. Women must be somewhere, home most probably, then for having a one billion population you need a good number of uteros! Aparently a good number of fellow women must be at home ... also talking about women as mothers, the number of pregmant women that you see on the street is so low (honestly I have seen exactly 2 in 4 weeks) if you think of the tremendous birth rate of this country. Again, in Latin America you see so many pregnant women on the street, that sometimes you think it s even fashion!! Again, no clue ... need to find out more!!
5. Being a lady, an expensive deal
Talking with some indian friends, not much though, being a woman or giving birth to a girl in the long term seems to be an expensive deal. In India when a woman wants to marry, it is the family of the girl who needs kind of to 'pay' to the famility of the groom in order to marry, and as far as what I have heard it is a lot, in money, gold, etc ... I am not sure if this happens in modern marriages also, but seems to be the rule in traditional ones. When I think again back in Colombia, there are some tribes, for instance the Wayuus (in the north of the country) where is man who needs to pay the family of the girl in order to marry her ... so completely the oposite.
Anyhow, it is good to be a woman, STILL.
More stories soon ...
Exclusive ladies seat in the Mumbai buses
1. Clothing
From wearing strapless shirts, skirts and very tight pants I slowly had to move into the more lose, broad clothing. Why? Simple reasons - 90 % of the girls wear like this (with kurtas, pijamas, sarees) which means that if I wear my 'old normal western clothes' I will have lots of guys just looking at me not in the nicest way. I thought people were exagerating about the guys looking at you thingy, but they really do, and after a guy grabbed my ass on the street the first week of being here (sorry for telling it so often, but this is really traumatic!), deep inside myself I know is better to keep the 'low profile'. I say deep inside, because honestly many times I hate dressing with so conservative clothes and I sort of try to come back to my old style, but luckily I have someone that audits my clothes every morning :-) Now, dressing conservative does not mean I wear indian clothes every day, but even if I do wear western style it is very few what is to be shown. ALso it depends of what zone of the city you are. In Bandra West, that is kind of the 'party/clubbing/restaurants' part of the city you tend to see more less conservative style, similar when you go to parties and stuff, but still when you go to work every day by train and do not live in Bandra West :-) you have no option than adapting to the culture! Indian women clothes actually are very nice if you rather start adminiring the musters, textures and colors ... in Latin America beauty of clothes is rated by the shape of your body (how good it fits or suits) than for the qualities of the pieces themselves.
2. Ladies Transportation
A benefit for ladies here is that in trains and buses there are special spaces reserved for us. In the trains there are special wagons or compartments JUST FOR LADIES. As said this is cool cause as full as the train becomes, you do not need to worry for being squeezed between tons of guys, you feel in a way safer, more comfortable ... but at the same time when you think about it, it is like accepting that guys just can't share in a friendly and respectfull way the place with women ... and in a way I think that brings them more apart, or at least that makes guys crazier about women! jejejej it's just a thought ... for sure much more reflection needs to be put around this from my side. In the bus there are special seats JUST FOR WOMEN as well, not many, but it's cool to know that there are these special spots to look for where nobody can bother you!
Sign that indicates where to board the ladies wagon
3. Ladies second?
Now, this whole 'ladies seats or compartments' are also a very tricky thing, then from believing that India is the most polite country in the world towards women, sometimes I do believe men respect these 'ladies spaces' more as an obligation or as a RULE, than because they naturally are polite towards women. The -LADIES FIRST- saying that you have in many western countries, here does not happen sometimes. Let me give you some examples: the other day I sat on a "non lady" seat, but since I do not speak-read hindi, I thought it was a women seat. I guy came to me and said: "Move, bla, bla, something in hindi, no ladies seat". The first thing that came to my mind, was that I was probably sitting in the handicapped seat, which if it was like this, the guy had all the right to ask me to stand up from, ONLY if HE WOULD BE HANDICAPPED, but he was NOT AT ALL and instead was happiliy seating there with another friend. Of course I travelled without a set all the way (not a big deal anyways, happens every time), but in general nobody here gives a seat to a woman, nobody waits for women to go down of the bust first, or go up first, nobody helpswomen to carry anything. Cool women and men, we are the same, do not get me wrong, I am not expecting we to be que 'queens' of the story, but still it is a very marked difference.
Andheri Station in Mumbai, women boarding the (full) ladies compartment
4. Where are the ladies? where are the pregnant ones?
In a 1 billion country (India) and a 20 million city (Mumbai) the % of women you see on the street is SO SMALL, sometimes it is scary to see how men are the majority. Women must be somewhere, home most probably, then for having a one billion population you need a good number of uteros! Aparently a good number of fellow women must be at home ... also talking about women as mothers, the number of pregmant women that you see on the street is so low (honestly I have seen exactly 2 in 4 weeks) if you think of the tremendous birth rate of this country. Again, in Latin America you see so many pregnant women on the street, that sometimes you think it s even fashion!! Again, no clue ... need to find out more!!
5. Being a lady, an expensive deal
Talking with some indian friends, not much though, being a woman or giving birth to a girl in the long term seems to be an expensive deal. In India when a woman wants to marry, it is the family of the girl who needs kind of to 'pay' to the famility of the groom in order to marry, and as far as what I have heard it is a lot, in money, gold, etc ... I am not sure if this happens in modern marriages also, but seems to be the rule in traditional ones. When I think again back in Colombia, there are some tribes, for instance the Wayuus (in the north of the country) where is man who needs to pay the family of the girl in order to marry her ... so completely the oposite.
Anyhow, it is good to be a woman, STILL.
More stories soon ...
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